Once I withdrew Nyasha from school, that very next week I went into this homeschooling venture full speed ahead. I began printing out worksheets, making the announcement to my friends and family (not all of them agreed or understood but they didn't verbalize it). I had already made connections with some homeschooling parents on Facebook (I love Facebook I think it's wonder-full), and I was so excited. Since I had already prepared her for the change in our lifestyle she took it pretty well (so I thought).
We began a regime of math, reading, spelling, english science, social studies and writing. We had a schedule that a friend of mine provided for us and we went to work. I was burnt out by the end of the week. Make no mistake, I did overstand that this is a serious undertaking I just wasn't prepared for how taxing it was going to be, no one is really. In most cases (especially with parenting), we just do and learn along the way. So I was being a parent that was teaching. Hmmmm? On top of that I was frustrated, cranky, lost, impatient, demanding, irritable, need I go on? This don't feel right. What am I doing wrong? Yet I continued this authoritarian regime thinking that this is the way it should be if she is to learn.
Then I began to notice Nyasha slipping away into another world (she's a Libra so it's easily done), just like she used to do in school (her teachers use to tell me all the time that she would drift away while in class), when I was explaining something or when she was working on a worksheet. This can't be right. Why isn't she interested? Why isn't she having fun? What happened to the happy homeschooled child I'm suppose to have? Why isn't she excited about our one on one time we have together? Are the worksheets too difficult? Should we stay in school a little longer? What am I not doing? You ever notice we always think it's something that we are not doing when it is usually something that we are doing. The Goddess Speaks: Sometimes (most times) it's better to do nothing. Stop doing and start being. Yes, that's it! I have been trying to be a teacher to her when all I need to do is guide her. Learning comes naturally. I'll be me and she'll be she. Easy right?