I Began to comb the internet for homeschooling styles. The one in particular that I was looking for was "unschooling' Unschooling is also called "child-lead learning". That style of homeschooling has always intrigued me and I am definitely drawn to this style of learning. Later that day I spoke to my Sistah Doris and my Brotha Les and told them what I was going through, my feelings about it, and my feelings about myself (I dump on them all the time), and also the fear that was upon me. They gently, calmly and lovingly said to me, "trust yourself and trust that Nyasha knows exactly what she needs. Trust her". They reminded me that this journey is suppose to be fun for the both of us and also a learning experience for me as well.
I came upon a couple of sites (I'm sorry, one of them I didn't write the name of the site down, I'll find it later and post it) with an article (I didn't write down the author's names either) that talked about the process of unschooling and that there are three stages that you have to go through. The name of the article is "The Three Stages Of Unschooling". I recognized that I was in the first stage (naturally, since I've just begun to unschool) which is the stage of De-schooling. At this time we, as unschoolers, have to give ourselves time to "step away from the box" of school and "school-think". She says that we have to rid our minds of those things and think about learning in a holistic manner. The other piece of important information I got was when I was watching videos of Sandra Dodd in which she said "Breathe". It all came together and began to makes sense to me. I get it now! So that's what I've been dealing with on top of all the other stuff (my feeling inadequate, shame, fear, etc.) huh? What a revelation! Then at that moment, my load got lighter. I felt a sense of freedom, and Love filled my being. The Goddess Speaks: Now, breathe my chile breathe. Ahhh, well done.