The Home Flag

Our apartment has a home flag. It was designed by Nyasha about three weeks or so ago. Just out of the blue she drew this flag and insisted that it be displayed somewhere in our apartment. She chose the spot behind the front door just above the peep-hole, so that we can see it when the door is closed, (and since we live in Miami, and summer is quickly approaching,  the door will be closed more often and for longer periods of time than I would like it to). Be that as it may, we are now owners of a home flag that is displayed proudly in our humble home.

Where did it come from? What moved her to do something like this? How did she come up with the choice of colors? Why did she choose a flag as a symbol?  I have no answers to these questions and the many more that are still going 'round in my head, but I must say that I am proud of my princess having come up with something so beauty-full, profound and so on point. I wonder who she gets that from? Hmmmmmmm?

 The colors of our home flag is pink, yellow and green. Pink is for love. Yellow is for feelings. Green is for
caring. In addition to the colors, on each side of the flag is flanked by smiley faces. How cute is that? My interpretation about  her making this visual representation, is her way of verbalizing her feelings about our "family life" as we journey into the known and the unknown together. I believe it's another way of her saying "I Love You Mommy", but in a more tangible way because it's seen everyday on the flag in hopes that maybe Mommy/I will really see how much I love her (I could be wrong 'bout that but that's just what I "picked up" when she presented the flag to me). And I do. I see it. I hear it. I feel it. I know that her love for me is real. The flag also helps keep loving energy hovering around our little apartment and it keeps me conscious of standing in and filling up with all that love that is 'round me. I feels great isn't, being loved unconditionally and more importantly being willing to give unconditional love in return. What a rush!!

I am sending out the energy of our home flag to each and every one of you, please take it there is plenty to go 'round. Here is to hopin' that your household is full of as much love, feelings and caring as our home.

Blessed Love!

My First Wordless Wednesday - One Of My Loves

I'm Doin' Pretty Good Thus Far, I Think?

Some time has past since the last blog (about a week or so) and I'm happy to announce that all is well (I think. Sometimes I'm still not sure), but I'm not stressin' so that's a good sign.  Nyasha has found her passion (for now) which is building with lego and k'nex along with building paper airplanes (as shown in a previous blog).  Me, I'm reading, studying, wrapping my head around new ideas (de-schooling) and going with the flow. She is very passionate about her building cars, trucks, helicopters, etc. and I enjoy watching her as she looks at the directions, finds which piece goes where and puts together a perfect model of a hummer for instance. That amazes me, truly it does.

Even though most of the lego and k'nex she's been putting together belongs to our neighbor Kevin, she's not bothered about the fact that she has to give them to him once she puts them together. As a matter of  fact, she's proud of herself when she hands him the finished product and happy that she is able to (do something he can't) and  make him happy too. So, I've decided to invest in some legos for her since she enjoys them so much. That way she can build and re-build as often as she likes. I see this new-found skill as  a precursor to knowing how to follow directions, concentration, creativity, critical thinking, comprehension, math/counting strategic thinking, and so on. Who'da thought learning could be so much fun! I know, I'm silly.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. This Mama is gooooooood!

Mother Earth's Gems

Mother Earth in all of her beauty and splendor. She is the Great Mother, she creates and  she destroys. She destroys what is no longer needed, or that which  needs to be replaced with stronger roots and/or foundation. Out of  the destruction comes beauty once again. She never fails to keep us in awe.

I have a love of crystals and stones. I've had this strong connection with them for sometime now, studying here and there and using them in particular ways (like laying on of stones) when my Spirit tells me to do so. Now I'm studying Crystal Healing Strategies at The Body Temple Institute. It's a 6-week coarse which will outline the healing power of crystals on the human energy field among other topics.

Our first class assignment was to take a picture of our favorite stones and/or crystals and  in doing so this morning it  inspired me to share some of  my favorite stones and crystals with you.  Enjoy!!

  

Also check out The Body Temple Institute for information about upcoming classes and Holistic Health and Herbal Studies   http://thebodytemple.ning.com/groups

Learning Happens... Sistah

It's times like these that confirms what I already know, that I have made the right decision to unschool Nyasha. Today is Sauturday and you would think that this is the day to go out and do something like go to the beach, go to the park, go bike riding etc. But Saturday for us is just another day 'cause we get to do those things during the week. We're not limited to the weekend to go out and have fun because she's in school, uh uh, we can have fun everyday of the week. I Love it!!!

So here we are on this beauty-full Saturday on sunny Miami Beach and Nyasha's in the house reading instructions on how to build a paper airplane. Why is she doing that? you ask. Let me explain. My neighbor Kevin is a kid at heart, he builds model cars and boats. But more importantly Kevin likes to have fun. So, he buys toys (mostly things that need to be put together) and some of the models that he has purchased, he has no idea how to put them together, so that's where Nyasha comes in. She loves to put things together (I didn't know that). Well, I didn't know the extent of her passion 'cuz she spent 5 years in school all day long, doing Goddess only knows what, and didn't have time to express it (I digress). Anyway, Kevin has the toys, Nyasha has the know-how, hence, Nyasha is studying the instructions. This afternoon they are putting an airplane together. Nyasha is so excited! Me too!

Learning happens all the time and it usually happens (more often that not) when the child is having fun (I'm gettin' this, I'm slow but I'm sure). I enjoy watching her while she's contemplating what to do next, or which piece goes where, it's really a pleasure to watch. She's very intense during this process so I'm very careful not to disturb. Shhhhhhhhhh!

You Might As Well Do It Now 'Cause It's Gonna Pile Up!!

I really don't feel like it today, I'll do it tomorrow. That seems to be my mantra lately. In the meantime there is laundry that needs to be done, phone calls that need to be made, trips to the supermarket, and so on and so on. I am a procrastinator I must admit, and I have been working on this (one of my less positive traits) for years. It's a work in progress and it's been difficult for me at times. "But, I work well under pressure" is just an illusion I tell myself over and over. Truth be told (my truth that is), is that I'm more stress when I'm under pressure. I'm grouchy (especially to the ones I love) and I'm nervous and jittery (I think they call that adrenaline) and I'm just an all around b**ch! I mean grouch, I said grouch already sorry, I mean I'm a double grouch. Well, you know what I mean, I can be hard to live with. Oh yeah I really need that since I'm already going through perimenopause. Can you please pass me some mo' of that stress? And I'll take a double scoop of panic wit' that too, give thanks.  The job gets done and it gets done well and on time, but why must I suffer in the process? Why do I take myself through all that sufferation ? Do I get pleasure out of pain?  Nah ya'll I ain't going there. Look out!! Here comes fear!

In order for me to overcome procrastination find that I must not only proclaim it but face it, stand toe-to-toe with it. Walk up to it and tell it "I see you, now step aside I got stuff to do". Procrastination is a by-product of fear. That realization I have come to, so when I am stagnant (procrastinating) I recognize that I am in fear. Sometimes I recognize that I am saturated in fear. That's some heavy energy ya'll.

Like everything healing takes time and it is a process. I'm working on it one day at a time. I have my victories and my defeats, but I will not allow it to conquer me. I am much too power-full for that. Besides, I'm stubborn by nature. LOL!

There is a wonder-full ebook that deals with the subject of procrastination that I recommend highly it's called "Ima Do, Her Tomorrow Never Comes". It's written by Kimyon Zari. If you are reading this and you are a procrastinator, self-proclaimed, undercover or otherwise, pick up a copy of this book. Or, if someone you Love is a procrastinator get a copy for them. It's short, straight to the point, and hilarious.
Here's the link  http://www.imadoebookonline.com/ Enjoy!

With Gratitude, Peace and Blessings to you all!

Nature Is Fascinating Isn't It?

Nyasha loves to explore, but even more than that, she loves exploring in the dirt (but that's just my opinion). We both get a kick out of seeing what she finds in the deep recesses of the earth (well not that deep, but you know what I mean), and it's educational too! Well, as hot as it is today, (and it is hot let me tell ya!!), she decided to do some digging in front of our apartment (that's her official dig site), and she dug for about an hour or so but came up empty. Well, I shouldn't say she came up empty, but there was nothing in the dirt today that interested her much. She told me that she found a bug the other day (and I quote) "that just creeped me out". I just smiled to myself. She's soooo cute!!! In her findings today she told me that she found that same "creepy-looking" bug, (I still didn't get a chance to see it. I must see this creepy-looking bug), so she aborted the mission. For now anyway.

It makes my heart soar to see Nyasha happy, doing what she enjoys, and learning in the process. Marvelous!!!! This is the time when I feel confident that this is gonna work out after all. I feel relaxed. I feel knowing. I feel the presence of the Goddess surrounding me, encouraging me to flow and trust the process of life. These are the moments I savor. I expect more of these profoundly beauty-full moments in the near future. I expect these moments to turn into daily events. As I free myself they will flow naturally as they should.

Okay Ya'll, I Found The Site And The Author

Remember in the previous post I made reference to an article on the internet about unschooling, well, I found the site and the author. The site is www.sandradodd.com.. The title of the article is: "The Three Stages Of Unschooling" by Kellie Lovejoy. I want to make sure that I got that out in the open. I don't want no problems or misunderstandings.


    

Honey Chile De-Schooling Is All You Need

I Began to comb the internet for homeschooling styles. The one in particular that I was looking for was "unschooling' Unschooling is also called "child-lead learning". That style of homeschooling has always intrigued me and I am definitely drawn to this style of learning. Later that day I spoke to my Sistah  Doris and my Brotha Les and told them what I was going through, my feelings about it, and my feelings about myself (I dump on them all the time), and also the fear that was upon me. They gently, calmly and lovingly said to me, "trust yourself and trust that Nyasha knows exactly what she needs. Trust her". They reminded me that this journey is suppose to be fun for the both of us and also a learning experience for me as well.

I came upon a couple of sites (I'm sorry, one of them I didn't write the name of the site down, I'll find it later and post it) with an article (I didn't write down the author's names either) that talked about the process of unschooling and that there are three stages that you have to go through. The name of the article is "The Three Stages Of Unschooling". I recognized that I was in the first stage (naturally, since I've just begun to unschool) which is the stage of De-schooling. At this time we, as unschoolers, have to give ourselves time to "step away from the box" of school and "school-think". She says that we have to rid our minds of those things and think about learning in a holistic manner. The other piece of important information I got was when I was watching videos of Sandra Dodd in which she said "Breathe". It all came together and began to makes sense to me. I get it now!  So that's what I've been dealing with on top of all the other stuff  (my feeling inadequate, shame, fear, etc.) huh?  What a revelation! Then at that moment, my load got lighter. I felt a sense of freedom, and Love filled my being.  The Goddess Speaks: Now, breathe my chile breathe. Ahhh, well done.

Gal, It Ain't As Easy As You Think, But It's Worth It

When the Goddess handed me that piece of knowledge I thought I was sure now, sure of what I had to do with this homeschooling and better yet how I was going to handle it. So, I lightened the workload for Nyasha and gave her more activities to do. A couple of my neighbors gave us some assistance also. One of my neighbors did not know I was homeschooling Nyasha when she was presenting us with a wonder-full gift. My neighbor Goldie did and she gave us a beautiful but intricate paint by numbers set of an owl in the forest up in a tree. Another neighbor gave us a professional keyboard that she used to play. She told us it was a hobby of hers that she enjoyed doing but now she wants to pass it on to Nyasha. In addition to the art and music part of the day we go to the Library, the park and Nyasha has dance class on Wednesdays.

"Now, that should do it," so I thought. Even thought I did not want to admit it I still felt stressed and uncomfortable with and in myself. In two days I was looking for results some kind of sign that will show me that she is definitely learning. On top of that she still wasn't happy, she looked just as strained as I did. It's nothing that you would notice, it's a "Mama Thang" you know, Mamas know their children. So doubt came creeping in again (I'm sure it was always there anyway it was just hiding), along with guilt, pity and frustration and I began to freak out shouting: No more t.v. for you! Do your chores! Finish your work or you're not going to dance class! Go to bed! You didn't study your times table again! Get in there and study NOW!!! It was a mess, I looked and sounded ridiculous I'm sure, 'cause when it played back in my head I saw it in all of it's ugliness and stank. All I could feel was shame 'cause I shamed her as well. Even more than that, these are childhood issues I'm dealing with as well (I was shamed as a child), so every time I talk to her in any kind of way except in Love, I overstand that I am standing in fear and not in Love. Fear had consumed me. Panic had set in. I have to fix this.There I go again thinkin' I always gotta be doin' sum'um.

Well M'dear, Now What?

Once I withdrew Nyasha from school, that very next week I went into this homeschooling venture full speed ahead. I began printing out worksheets, making the announcement to my friends and family (not all of them agreed or understood but they didn't verbalize it). I had already made connections with some homeschooling parents on Facebook (I love Facebook I think it's wonder-full), and I was so excited. Since I had already prepared her for the change in our lifestyle she took it pretty well (so I thought).

We began a regime of math, reading, spelling, english science, social studies and writing. We had a schedule that a friend of mine provided for us and we went to work. I was burnt out by the end of the week. Make no mistake, I did overstand that this is a serious undertaking I just wasn't prepared for how taxing it was going to be, no one is really. In most cases (especially with parenting), we just do and learn along the way. So I was being a parent that was teaching. Hmmmm? On top of that I was frustrated, cranky, lost, impatient, demanding, irritable, need I go on?  This don't feel right. What am I doing wrong?  Yet I continued this authoritarian regime thinking that this is the way it should be if she is to learn.

Then I began to notice Nyasha slipping away into another world (she's a Libra so it's easily done), just like she used to do in school (her teachers use to tell me all the time that she would drift away while in class),  when I was explaining something or when she was working on a worksheet.  This can't be right. Why isn't she interested? Why isn't she having fun? What happened to the happy homeschooled child I'm suppose to have? Why isn't she excited about our one on one time we have together? Are the worksheets too difficult? Should we stay in school a little longer? What am I not doing? You ever notice we always think it's something that we are not doing when it is usually something that we are doing. The Goddess Speaks: Sometimes (most times) it's better to do nothing. Stop doing and start being. Yes, that's it! I have been trying to be a teacher to her  when all I need to do is guide her. Learning comes naturally. I'll be me and she'll be she. Easy right?    

The Journey Begins

Yes! I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna homeschool Nyasha. I have to, she's not learning, she's struggling with math. Not math! Yes, it's true she was struggling in math (my least favorite subject, so I felt inept to help her, even though she was in the third grade at the time). Then I saw a little improvement so I continued to send her to school even though the goddess appealed to me on many occasions to withdraw her from school, I continued to send her anyway, besides, I had to work right?  Ever since Nyasha was a toddler I wanted to homeschool her through her elementary years at least, but reality has a way of rearing it's ugly head announcing how foolish you are. How are you going to homeschool when you are a single parent? How are you going to eat, have a roof over your head if you don't work?  Now stop thinking those crazy thoughts and get your butt to work!

So I finally made my decision to homeschool in the month February of this year. I began to research homeschooling sites to get a feel of what I was up against. What curriculum do I have to purchase if any? Are there any free curriculums? Oh, did I forget to mention that I am unemployed? Sorry 'bout that. Yeah I'm unemployed so I was really nervous about this undertaking but I knew I had to do this, I had to save my child from the system. Once I took that first step it became a little easier but we are still making the transition from school to unschooling (child-lead learning). I have to learn to trust that Nyasha is constantly learning and I have to trust myself to trust the process. I also have to go through the process of DE-schooling and rid myself of  what experienced unschoolers call "school think".

This journey for me is one of the most important journeys I have ever taken in my life. It is certainly the most profound and I am looking forward to sharing it with you. As I continue to grow in this venture hopefully I will be able to help some, entertain others, and learn in the process.